NickNack
Neurodivergent Parenting: Think Outside The Box
I was in my late 20's before I understood that Neurotypical folks have different personalities for different social groups, and it significantly impacts their behavior.
As an autistic person, I had a consistent personality across social groups....and I behaved basically the same toward everyone, regardless of how long I had known them or where I knew them from...
Which of course led to SOME people interpreting my behavior as overly-familiar.... SOME as helpful.....SOME as rude....SOME as earnest....SOME as self-aggrandizing....SOME as authoritarive....SOME as rebellious....and SOME as quirky.
I did not change.
But their perception of me changed based on how they EXPECTED me to interact with them.
Did they expect me to be quiet and reluctant, as a new trainee on the job? Well, then I was over confident and too blunt.
Did they expect me to be knowledgeable as someone training others in a job I had held for 6 months? Well, then I was detail oriented and direct.
Or maybe I was BRAVE for getting out first on the dance floor, at a club where I was a racial minority, in a different neighborhood...
But the same folks found me to be attention-seeking, when I was first out on the dance floor at a club where I blended in, racially, in a neighborhood close to my home.
Understanding how Neurotypical people can label the SAME behaviors, qualities, and characteristics as inherently GOOD or BAD based on the smallest of differences in social environments, has helped me learn to take their criticisms with a grain of salt.
I have learned that when I am called intense, it may just mean they have noticed I am earnest... and when I am called a know-it-all, it may just mean they have noticed I am well-read.
I decided, a decade ago, to just be ME and to accept the fact that for SOME people, that will be OFFENSIVE and WAY TOO MUCH.... and that I should NOT CARE ABOUT THEIR OPINIONS.
I am the same me, always.
Take me or leave me.
I won't change for your convenience.
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Bunmi Laditan
TW
One of the reasons I write about neurodivergence even though it would be easier not to because frankly, you’re all strangers to me no offense, is because I know how difficult it is.
Sensory issues, relationship issues, communication issues, don’t even get me started on executive function issues. Life, which is already hard, becomes much harder when your brain is wired differently.
When you’re an adult the stakes are higher and there are much bigger things to tackle with less help.
But the #1 most difficult thing in a neurodivergent person’s life, in my opinion, will always be the treatment of others.
People with ADHD are 3-4 times more likely to die by their own hand than someone without. It’s about the same for autistic people. A recent study showed it’s even higher for girls/women which I think may be linked to later diagnosis so a longer time coping without support but I’m only guessing.
This data didn’t surprise me as children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages by age 10 than their peers. That’s from a recent study.
That’s just age 10. It adds up and weighs on a person.
I know it’s not always easy to be around a neurodivergent person because we can cause problems and have particular needs but believe me when I say it’s no picnic inside these minds either and we’re trying.
All of the fidgets and weighted blankets, noise cancelling headphones and dietary modifications help but when you’re constantly trying to make sense of and recovering from negative interactions, it’s exhausting.
Neurodivergent people are targeted a lot. Blamed a lot. Misunderstood a lot. Hated in certain environments for reasons I will never understand because I’ve never been part of a community more gentle.
Neurodivergent people are simply trying to survive, connect, and make it in a framework not at all calibrated for their peace or success, and the biggest hurdle is and has always been harmful people.
I used to believe it was the vulnerability. Animals often turn on members of their own species who appear wounded or sick- I’ve seen it in dogs and cats- but human beings are supposed to be better than that. We’re not ruled simply by primal instinct.
I don’t think all those who mistreat neurodivergent people are evil. Probably only 1/5 have truly malevolent intentions. The other 4/5 perhaps see an opportunity, or make a wrong/quick assumption, are frustrated with our behaviour, don’t want to offend someone who does have bad intentions (groupthink), etc.
But the outcome is always the same.
My humble request: If you know a neurodivergent person, and have space in your heart to do so, protect them. We’re often open to being used because we don’t realize intentions, and face all kinds of things we often keep to ourselves. If you see something unfair happening, say something or do something. I understand this comes with social/personal risk.
It feels like a lot to ask as I know everyone has their own things to deal with, but if you can, I’ll tell you a neurodivergent person never forgets a kindness and will hold you in a special class for life.
Especially for children, if you have a socially strong child, what if you talked to them about how to spot and help socially weaker ones? Neurodivergent children make amazing friends.
Or if you know a child with ADHD, tell them they’re doing a good job at something. Trust me, they often hear the contrary. Make it genuine, though please.
Or if you see a child in a doctor’s waiting room having a difficult time and appearing “bad” don’t make a face or judge with your eyes. Please don’t give random advice based on your limited observations. In reality, you have no idea what that child is facing inside.
Tantrums and meltdowns are not the same, but even if they were, not adding to someone’s struggle is free every day. The feeling of superiority one derives from making someone’s life harder is paid for by the person one takes it from. It has a real, human cost and the bill is footed by someone already facing an mental/emotional, perhaps even physical deficit.
All this to say, small considerations can go a long way toward helping different people exist. Most are simple.
Thank you for reading.
♥️ Bunmi
Irwansyah Saputra
Skripsi Non IT yang mudah dan cepet lulus
follow ig gw biar manfaat dikit: instagram.com/irwansight
Zaman sekarang itu udah open science, artinya ilmu bisa diakses dari manapun. Selain itu, keilmuan saat ini udah ga bisa jalan sendiri, kita butuh bidang lain untuk menunjangnya. Misalnya, ada orang yang mau bikin ramuan jamu baru dengan mengekstraksi formula yang ada, dia butuh orang ilmu komputer yang belajar bioinformatika untuk nyelesain kerjaannya.
TBH, kalo gw liat skripsian mahasiswa jenuh banget. Misalnya jurusan manajemen “Pengaruh x terhadap y”, yang diganti palingan objeknya doang, dibedain sama kakak kelasnya. Gitu aja. Jurusan lain juga ga beda jauh nasibnya. Padahal, banyak pendekatan lain yang bisa dipake untuk beresin masalah itu. Beberapa contohnya sebagai berikut:
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Jurusan manajemen atau ekonomi: bisa ambil topik penelitian untuk Naikin Omzet penjualan suatu toko online dengan menggunakan pendekatan data mining, yaitu metode asosiasi. Susah ga? Kagak. Jadi asosiasi itu bisa menghasilkan luaran gini “70% orang yang membeli mie instan juga membeli telur”. Nah, untuk menggaet 30% orang sisanya, bikin promo misalnya “setiap beli 5 mie instan, diskon telur 20%”. Cara bikinnya mudah, cukup pake software orange data mining (ga pake koding), dataset penjualan. Udah cukup. Keyword yang bisa dipake untuk pencarian di google: market basket analysis, asosiasi penjualan produk, asosiasi orange data mining, market basket analysis orange data mining.
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Jurusan farmasi: mencari formula dari obat baru untuk suatu penyakit (misalnya kanker) menggunakan pendekatan bioinformatika. Ini bisa pakai pendekatan network science. Dataset bisa dicari di OMIM. Keywordnya: bioinformatika jamu, bioinformatika obat, network science bioinformatika.
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Jurusan psikologi: melakukan otomasi untuk deteksi cyberbullying di internet dengan pendekatan text mining. Setelah itu bisa lakukan penelitian terkait karakteristik akun yang bisa melakukan cyberbullying tersebut. Data bisa diambil dari twitter. Keyword: sentiment analysis, cyberbullying detection internet, text mining cyberbullying.
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Jurusan pendidikan: melakukan cluster terhadap siswa yang kurang pintar dan pintar di kelas dengan pendekatan data mining teknik clustering. Dataset bisa pakai satu kelas dengan atribut jam belajar, jarak sekolah ke rumah, makanan yang dijadikan sarapan, ekonomi keluarga, dst. Keyword: clustering school data mining, education clustering data mining, data mining clustering pendidikan, data mining clustering sekolah, clustering k-means.
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Jurusan agama: membuat analisis semantik terhadap para perawi hadits dalam suatu kitab rijalul hadits. Tujuan penelitian ini untuk memudahkan orang mengetahui karakteristik dari perawi hadits, mulai dari riwayat nasabnya, berapa hadits yang diriwayatkan, bagaimana keandalannya, komentar ulama tentangnya, dst. Dataset bisa diambil dari suatu kitab rijalul hadits. Keyword: semantic analysis family tree, semantic analysis politician.
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Jurusan perencanaan wilayah dan kelola perkotaan: menentukan provinsi yang miskin dan yang tidak miskin dari dataset BPS. Pendekatan yang digunakan adalah clustering data mining. Keyword: clustering poor country, clustering k-means, clustering BPS.
Kenapa dibilang gampang? Karena emang gampang bikinnya. Kenapa cepet lulus? Karena para penguji biasanya ga paham metodenya. Jadi ringan ketika sidang.
Segitu aja dulu. Kalo rame part 2.
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Havilah Adamas
menurutku soal tarot deck orijinal maupun bajakan tuh gini.
kalau deck yang terkenal dan dipublish massal besar besaran macem raider waite, gapapa pake bajakan. apalagi kalo masih latihan. yang bikin juga udah meninggal dan tanpa kamu beli pun royaltinya udah gede.
cuma kalau deck yang dibuat sama artist atau mereka yang small industry gitu, lebih baik beli ori jangan bajakan buat dukung industri yang lebih kecil.
Suhendri Suhendri
Para pemuja original yang tersesatkan 😭
A: "Kartu tarot yang original lebih baik, energinya bagus"
Nah, ini ada 3 deck dengan ilustrasi waite tarot, dimana ke 3 nya mengaku "original" dan di publikasikan oleh 3 publisher berbeda yang mengklaim produknya yang sah. 😁
Terus mana yg "original" menurut dirimu hai para pemuja sebutan "original"??? 😂😂😂
Bahkan ada perbedaan warna pada ilustrasi kartunya (lihat difoto). Nah, semakin nyata ke-"original"-annya 🙏
Energinya bagaimana donk? 🙂
Ayo, ini sudah mendekati akhir tahun 2021, perbaiki konsep dirimu dan tidak sekedar cocoklogi terus dengan term "original" ya 😍
Salam Kaya Hikmat 🙏
PL@211215
Bella Jones
Best purchase ever!!
Sangat impulsif, dadakan, dan last minute. Belinya di Periplus Pakuwon mall, jam 21.50, tokonya udh mau tutup.
Aku beli ini karena, sejak tahun lalu aku tertarik beli kartu tarot dan semacamnya, aku hanya bisa beli raider waite 50rb an di tokped. Aku pergi ke periplus buat lihat2 kartu tarot dkk, selalu ketarik ke deck ini dan sodaranya yang Starseed oracle. Selama setahun lebih, aku hanya 2x ke periplus, dan selalu tertarik ke deck ini, tapi gabisa beli.
Sekarang bisa beli. Tapi deg degan juga karena belinya bkn pake uangku 😂 tapi yah.. gimana lagi. I think it's fate for me to buy this deck today.
Apakah ada yang punya saran bagaimana caranya cleansing deck ini? Aku gak punya kristal, sage, palo santo, dan lain2nya utk cleansing. Is there another method?
May be an image of book and text that says 'REBECCA CAMPBELL ARTWORK BY DANIELLE NOEL Î Bestseller לലലല WORK YOUR LIGHT M ORACLE CARDS'
June 12 at 12:00 AM · Friends
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Prinz Alexiares
i also have this one and it has this 'sistur' vibes about it i like it
1 person · Like · React · Reply · More · Jun 12
Bella Jones replied · 1 reply
Prinz Alexiares
gw cleansing ini pake clear quartz trs jemur pas full moon
Edited · 1 person · Like · React · Reply · More · Jun 12
Prinz Alexiares replied · 2 replies
Havilah Adamas
pas ga ada kristal/incense aku biasanya cleansing dgn cara (bisa salah satu aja)
•knocking on the deck
•sorting and then shuffling the cards with intention
•kuangin2 di bawah sinar matahari (jangan langsung tapi) biar decknya 'refreshing'
•atau kuputerin lagu2 yang sifatnya healing tenang kalem gitu. di youtube ada video2 yang isinya lagu buat cleansing kristal atau rekaman singing bowl. aku kadang pake itu juga buat tarotku and it works.
2 people · Like · Reply · More · Jun 12
Bella Jones replied · 3 replies
Bella Jones
Also thank you for the tarot/oracle readers on my FL Monne Havilah von Hagen Prinz Alexiares Nai i'm really glad to see you all and get inspired by your passion!! Last year it's impossible for me to have this and now i own it ! Thanks a lot 🤗 warm hugs for all of you 🤗🤗
2 people · Like · React · Reply · More · Jun 12
Havilah Adamas replied · 2 replies
Ksatria Bawang Merah
Pengen liat desainnyaaa
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Bella Jones replied · 1 reply
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Havilah Adamas added 4 new photos to the album: 🔮✨ Tarot Reading Journey of Havilah ✨🔮.
✨ first impression : genshin tarot deck (major arcana only) by Esrever Atelier (@esreveratelier on Instagram) ✨
Vibes of the deck :
🌻 It's strikingly a bold and confident deck that it feels intense when I held it for the first time.
🌻Some cards bears message that is heavy yet clear enough, some cards have a more gentle yet daring approach compared to traditional tarot decks, which I like.
🌻If you play Genshin, it would be interesting to combine the traditional textbook interpretation with interpretation based on the character's background and characteristics.
🌻I am particularly impressed by the Kazuha card (The Chariot), it literally sent shivers down my spine the first time I held it. I almost cried. It truly embodies the determination and bravery that the clanless samurai bears. I will sure use it to meditate 👀✨
Material :
🌻IT COMES WITH A SUEDE POUCH WITH GOLDEN PRINTING OH MY GOD!!! And the pouch is so soft to touch
🌻Materialnya doff....mirip moonology cuma tebelnya setengahnya. A bit difficult to shuffle but it's still manageable.
I'm SO SO looking forward for working further with this deck!!! (Dan ngarep semoga kreatornya bikin minor arcana juga biar bisa full deck 🥺)
The Better Man Project
5 things to remember about growth:
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let go of what no longer serves. energies. people. habits. create space for what's meant to be.
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celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. give yourself credit for growing and moving forward.
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focus on progress, not perfection. it's not about getting everything right. it's about digging just a little bit deeper every day.
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listen to your intuition. ask yourself, "what would the deepest, wisest version of me do here?" then, go do it.
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if you make a mistake, seek to understand rather than judge. learn instead of criticize. this is how you build wisdom.