Rotring

September seems really bleak. I don't know what to say, but my head feels really full--yet cotton-like on the same time. The sense of missing something (or someone) is really strong, it ache. It ache, until I can sense the flu penetrating the bone and I am entrenched in this melancholy quicksand, grasping for air and fresh oxygen. I hate myself; the core of it--that was very true. The fickleness, the irresponsibility, the weak heart, the fragile disposition, the numbing laziness--I want to change all of that. These days I am a firm believer that when human needs something to unravel their life, a breakthrough--it's the environment they lived in that must go away, upending it thoroughly for something new. On reality, that's tough. Mostly it have much to do with money. Ah, money, the bane of humanity existence on earth. I need to get a full time job quick to collecting that needed money, but the opportunities that have came (the interview call) has been alluded me so far, yet. I hope it will change for the better soon.
(I hope, I hope, I hope). That seems like a recurring theme. A crooked circle, with the both ends came astray and doesn't united.