Apr 12 23

I've been pacing myself this year.
I don't have as much gas in the tank as I used to.

People have come to expect the same kind of performance from me that they once saw.
But it's hard to deliver that every single day on the job.
So I've been taking it slow and easy, saving the gas for the special occasions.

This is a business where people come and go all the time.
And nobody really cares.
You might give everything you've got. But when you're burned out, old, or dead, nobody's going to check on you and see how you're doing.
The only time people really see you, or make a show of interest, is when you're in action.
Once you're out, you're as good as dead.

I think longevity is really important, if you really want to leave a mark.
That may mean slowing down, or taking some days off. But what matters is that when you show up, you deliver 100%.
I've had some days when I wasn't feeling well. And I didn't show up because what's the point? If my body didn't have the strength or endurance to perform, then I'd be deadweight.

There are a lot of enthusiastic young guys out here. Everyone's trying to prove something; trying to make a name for themselves.
But if they don't take care of themselves, mentally and physically, then they'll be dead at my age.

This life - it's taxing. It's heavy on the mind, and on the body.
When you're young, you don't see it.
But when you're older, you start to feel it.
A lot of times, it's too late to do anything about it.

I've started to put more focus on my cardio. I've realized that I can't catch my breath, even when I'm working with the older crew. Maybe it's just rust, because I'd been out for so long.
Physically, I'd say I'm not in peak physical condition, but I'm not far from it. At least, that's how I feel.